Interest in 'Arrested' strictly conditional

From the LA Times today:

Showtime wants the acclaimed comedy "Arrested Development" should Fox decide to cancel it, but only on one condition: creator Mitch Hurwitz must come with it.

"If only a small fraction of the loyal audience that [watches it] on Fox came to Showtime, it would be one of our highest-rated shows," Robert Greenblatt, Showtime's president of entertainment, told the Television Critics Assn. Thursday evening.

A deal breaker in the talks with 20th Century Fox Television would be if Hurwitz chooses not to remain at the helm, Greenblatt said. "I think he's the genius behind it," he said. "And he hasn't yet come to that decision to continue the show." A decision will be reached in about two weeks, he said. Hurwitz was unavailable for comment.

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This is a great idea by Showtime. Mitch Hurwitz is the genius behind this show and without him, it would be shit. I've never seen a show so well written. I mean, there are things in episodes at the beginning of the season that foreshadow huge events that occur later in the season. I heard ABC's Lost is like that. Anyway, it looks like Showtime recognizes the value in this show and they want to nurture it. God, does anybody have a subscription to Showtime???

Do not cause serious injury to me after February

..As I will not be able to afford the medical costs. Apparently my medical insurance expired on my 23rd birthday, regardless of the fact that I am still a dependent and a full-time student until the end of this quarter. I got some kind of extension until the end of February that costs an exorbitant $300 a month. Guess I better stock up on my medication too.

If I get dual citizenship with Canada, do I have to be in Canada to get free health care?

"Mr. Tordini, you've suffered a massive coronary and need an immediate heart transplant to live. It costs $75,000. Do you want us to operate, or should we buy you a bus ticket to Vancouver?"

You Call Him Dr. Jones, Lady!!!

retroCRUSH's Offensive Snacks of Yore

I found this page particularly amusing. Back in the 60s, candymakers weren't afraid to name their candy after racial stereotypes. So you get Chinese Cherry (with slant eyes and bad teeth), Injun Orange (with headdress and face paint), and Rots O'Ruck (Lots of Luck, for the layperson). But I think calling some chocolates Nips isn't so bad. I don't think there was any malicious intent. We still got Cheese Nips around. But it's funny, nonetheless.

NASA Happy with Jesus Dust

I was a reading a NY Times article about NASA's happiness with their space dust that they collected at the edge of the our solar system.

Scientists believe that these particles are the pristine remains of the material that formed the planets and other bodies some 4.6 billion years ago.

The solor system is 4.6 billion years old, eh? Sounds like blasphemy. Or maybe this space dust was created by God to test our faith, much like the fossils of the dinosaurs (a.k.a. Jesus Horses).

Boring Boring Singapore

I have to be quick. Only a few minutes left for me to use this free internet here at Singapore's Changi Airport. I got in at 2 p.m. and my next flight leaves at 10:45 p.m. I did this on purpose so I could go into town and check out this little city-state. I was prepared by others for it to be boring and it was. Clean and neat and not much going on except business and a few ethnic neighborhoods. But this goddamned awesome motherfucking airport makes up for it. One thing I forgot to realize about Singapore is the humidity. I was soaked three steps after getting off the metro. This place is an oven. But now I'm back at the airport. Where I just had a lovely shower. Goodbye, sweat. After the shower I received a complimentary drink. Now I'm using free internet. Maybe I'll go catch a movie after this, also free on the airport big screen. Or hit up one of the many bars around, a few with live music. Or shop a little. Like I said, this place rocks. More than makes up for the silly city it's in. Worth staying a little longer just for itself. Peace out, homebodies. I want a Stella. Although my last beer at the airport experience, in San Francisco, makes me weary. Don't want to miss my flight while using the pisser. Then again, maybe I do. Tom Hanks should have been stranded here. It's a life of luxury. And Singapore Airlines starts it before you get here. I flew economy from Hong Kong to Singapore. That's probably like a domestic L.A. to S.F. flight, short and often. What was this flight like? Free wine. A choice of a half dozen meals reflecting different parts of the world. Free wine. A little ice cream with a Danish name for dessert. Free wine. A choice of almost a hundred movies, plus TV shows and music for entertainment. I wonder what first class on flights across the Pacific are like if this supreme service was local economy. Asia knows how to do it. Honestly, this is good capitalism. Instead of cutting services and prices, increase both. People complain more about how they're treated than about price. Increase prices a little and try to increase service as much as possible and people will come back. These are what business travelers want, cost is not an option. And dirty Sri Lankans will be more than happy to make use of it all. Again, replace flights to Vegas and Orlando with flights to Aspen and Martha's Vineyard. Get rid of the cheapos who would be lost in a place like Changi.

The preceding was written while the author was on a luxury high. He will probably return to his bitchy asshole self when he returns to Shouguang, the asshole of China he likes to bitch about.

Coke Confusion

I love soda, but hate the hundreds of calories that come with each serving. My favorite brand is Coke and recently Coke has released a bunch of different varieties of its brand. To accompany Coca-Cola Classic and Diet Coke, the company released C2, Diet Coke with Splenda, and Coke Zero. Coke Zero confused me the most because it a zero calorie Coke varient and I just thought it was Diet Coke. So here's the lowdown on some of the Coke products:

• Coca-Cola Classic: The original formula, full-calorie Coke. The "Classic" part was added to the name after the unsuccessful launch of a new Coke formula in 1985, unofficially dubbed "New Coke."
• Diet Coke: Introduced in 1982, Diet Coke is a zero-calorie Coke variation. It contains aspartame, a sugar substitute. Diet Coke doesn't use the same flavor formula of Coca-Cola Classic. Instead, it uses an entirely different formula and as a result, it has a different taste.
• C2: Released in the US in 2004, it is a reduced-calorie version of Coca-Cola Classic. It has half the calories of a single serving of Coca-Cola Classic. It's basically Coca-Cola Classic with half high fructose corn syrup and half sugar substitutes. It's not doing very well in the market.
• Diet Coke Sweetened With Splenda: Released in 2005, it's the Diet Coke flavor formula that is sweetened with a different sugar substitute. In this case, it's Splenda. According to the Splenda company, its zero-calorie substitute tastes more like sugar than aspartame.
• Coke Zero: Also introduced in 2005, it's also a calorie-free Coke varient. However, unlike Diet Coke, Coke Zero uses the same flavor formula as Coca-Cola Classic. It uses a sugar substitute mix of aspartame and acesulfame potassium.
  

I find Coke Zero the best calorie-free Coke varient. On the other hand, Diet Coke and Diet Coke with Splenda tastes bland and watery. I've never tried C2, but apparently not many people have either.

I hope this clears up the confusion.

The Night Before...

Anyone ever feel that wave of panic that hits you for a few seconds the night before you leave for a big trip? I'm feeling that right now. You're running around packing, making sure you haven't forgotten anything, you see something that reminds you of something else you need to do before you leave, and you go, "Ahhh shit," and collapse on the bed and decide to go to sleep, promising yourself you'll take care of it in the morning. That is my current state. Tomorrow I leave for Hong Kong, Singapore, India, and Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka is the key. The motherland. The prodigal son of a bitch returns somewhat triumphant. This trip to SL is the culmination of the past year and a half of travels. Once I see my birth island, experience it, feel it, I can rest easy. No more living life thinking will I ever get back. I remember Pham going back to the 'Nam in high school. He hated it. I don't think I'll hate my return. I'm into this kind of shit. I'm also into sit on my ass and watch TV kind of shit, as is Pham, but I think I'll enjoy sitting on my ass in Sri Lanka just as much as I enjoy doing so anywhere else. I'm also stupidly excited because SL is tense these days, civil strife and whatnot. Some fucking Rambo shit or something. Not Chuck Norris shit. Chuck Norris is a cunt. But Rambo, he could take out some jungle guerrillas with one wave of the Uzi. And, you know, I'll probably drink some tea, ride an elephant, hunt some big jungle cats, maybe marry a couple times. What we backward islanders do. But for now, I'll wait until morning. Night motherfuckers.