ESPN Page 2 Bill Simmons
Bill Simmons is the best writer I have ever come across (take THAT, Bertrand Russell.. on second thought, Russell's still better. still, take THAT, Nietzsche). He comes across so personable and funny and witty and relates it all to sports.
I remember a couple years ago I was driving with Kumar and we were going through the UCI In-n-Out drive thru and the topic of ESPN Page 2 came up and he brought up Bill Simmons and the Spelling Bee article. Easily the funniest article I have ever read. I would link it to you guys, but ESPN is charging for an INsider account to view Bill Simmons' past articles. Now I wouldn't pay ESPN to get INsider information on vague draft pick potentials or obscure college football data, but I seriously considered plopping down a bit of cash to read that article again. Now they're charging for the Bill Simmons Anchorman article too! grr..
Point in case: Bill Simmons' most recent article about the suckage of NFL teams *link*.
Quote: The eventual outcome of perpetual parity IS perpetual putridity. For example, after the magical run of alternative and hip-hop music from 1991-1995, everyone was so worn out from quality music that we allowed one-word crappy bands like Creed and Live to become famous, as well as untalented rappers like Diddy and Ja Rule, eventually leading to the inexplicable boom in hacky pop music, boy bands and that metal rock miasma. Just watch the SNL reruns from the bulk of the Will Ferrell era -- it's a musical apocalypse.
My theory for this: Everyone was so distracted by the unexpected Internet boon, as well as the copious amounts of suddenly free porn, that four or five years passed before we realized that the music industry was headed straight to hell. And it kept getting worse and worse and worse -- culminating in Andrew K's selling out NBA-sized arenas and everyone unwittingly allowing the complete bastardization of the music industry -- before the Strokes, Eminem and the White Stripes burst onto the scene and everyone remembered, "Hey, music can be popular and good! Wow!" And now we're knee-deep into another iPod-fueled renaissance.
Not that I agree with all his statements, but it's funny. If you can talk about free porn, bash Creed, Live, Diddy, and Ja Rule, and mention SNL - Will Ferrell in your NFL article, you get my thumbs up. To make this post even longer, I quote from the free snippet of the Anchorman article:
Remember my mailbag rant about rewatchable movies last month, when I complained about the five-year drought (and counting) for entertaining movies that could be watched on cable again and again?
Back East a few weeks ago, I ended up on-Demanding (is that even a verb?) "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" at my mom's house one night. Even though the movie (about a chauvinistic '70s anchorman in San Diego, played by Will Ferrell) received mixed reviews last year, since Ferrell was involved, I gave it a belated shot ... and loved it. Two days later, I watched it again. When I returned to California, I bought the DVD and watched the movie and every extra. Much like the "Austin Powers" movies, it's silly and inspired, and you notice four or five new wrinkles every time you watch it. Now, if I'm flicking channels and it's just starting, I can't help myself. It's like being at a wedding where they serve those bacon-wrapped scallop appetizers: Sure, I guess I'll have one more, but that's it. And you end up having 10. Now that, my friends, is the very definition of a rewatchable movie.
Now I just wanna watch Anchorman again. Because 60% of the time, it works every time.
I remember a couple years ago I was driving with Kumar and we were going through the UCI In-n-Out drive thru and the topic of ESPN Page 2 came up and he brought up Bill Simmons and the Spelling Bee article. Easily the funniest article I have ever read. I would link it to you guys, but ESPN is charging for an INsider account to view Bill Simmons' past articles. Now I wouldn't pay ESPN to get INsider information on vague draft pick potentials or obscure college football data, but I seriously considered plopping down a bit of cash to read that article again. Now they're charging for the Bill Simmons Anchorman article too! grr..
Point in case: Bill Simmons' most recent article about the suckage of NFL teams *link*.
Quote: The eventual outcome of perpetual parity IS perpetual putridity. For example, after the magical run of alternative and hip-hop music from 1991-1995, everyone was so worn out from quality music that we allowed one-word crappy bands like Creed and Live to become famous, as well as untalented rappers like Diddy and Ja Rule, eventually leading to the inexplicable boom in hacky pop music, boy bands and that metal rock miasma. Just watch the SNL reruns from the bulk of the Will Ferrell era -- it's a musical apocalypse.
My theory for this: Everyone was so distracted by the unexpected Internet boon, as well as the copious amounts of suddenly free porn, that four or five years passed before we realized that the music industry was headed straight to hell. And it kept getting worse and worse and worse -- culminating in Andrew K's selling out NBA-sized arenas and everyone unwittingly allowing the complete bastardization of the music industry -- before the Strokes, Eminem and the White Stripes burst onto the scene and everyone remembered, "Hey, music can be popular and good! Wow!" And now we're knee-deep into another iPod-fueled renaissance.
Not that I agree with all his statements, but it's funny. If you can talk about free porn, bash Creed, Live, Diddy, and Ja Rule, and mention SNL - Will Ferrell in your NFL article, you get my thumbs up. To make this post even longer, I quote from the free snippet of the Anchorman article:
Remember my mailbag rant about rewatchable movies last month, when I complained about the five-year drought (and counting) for entertaining movies that could be watched on cable again and again?
Back East a few weeks ago, I ended up on-Demanding (is that even a verb?) "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" at my mom's house one night. Even though the movie (about a chauvinistic '70s anchorman in San Diego, played by Will Ferrell) received mixed reviews last year, since Ferrell was involved, I gave it a belated shot ... and loved it. Two days later, I watched it again. When I returned to California, I bought the DVD and watched the movie and every extra. Much like the "Austin Powers" movies, it's silly and inspired, and you notice four or five new wrinkles every time you watch it. Now, if I'm flicking channels and it's just starting, I can't help myself. It's like being at a wedding where they serve those bacon-wrapped scallop appetizers: Sure, I guess I'll have one more, but that's it. And you end up having 10. Now that, my friends, is the very definition of a rewatchable movie.
Now I just wanna watch Anchorman again. Because 60% of the time, it works every time.
1 Comments:
Damn paid archives. The Onion figured it out. They use to charge for archived material. A few months ago they made everything free and just placed more ads on their sites. It's a great idea because once they made everything free, I spend more time browsing The Onion. More time spent on The Onion, more ad revenue for them. Win-win.
By
David, at 12/13/2005 6:14 PM
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