Silent Hill: Mindnumbingly Absurd
KC and Sean invited me to watch Silent Hill. Since I wasn't doing anything interesting on Monday night and somewhat interested by the trailer I've seen, I decided to go. I've would seen it earlier, but I read bad reviews. So with that knowledge, I went in with low expectations and was hoping for semi-decent suspense/horror movie.
Silent Hill was the worst movie I have ever seen. I don't watch that many movies every year. Like everyone else, I've seen my share of bad movies, such as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Double Team, and Bring It On. But this one takes the cake. Never have I seen such an elaborate failure in storytelling in my life. Not for a single moment did I care about the characters in this movie.
The majority of the movie involves a wild goose chase, when Rose Da Silva (Radha Mitchell) loses her mentally unstable daughter, Sharon (Jodelle Ferland), in the West Virginia ghosttown of Silent Hill. Rose is assisted by an attractive police officer, Cybil Bennet (Laurie Holden). While Rose and the cop go through a myriad of "frightening" encounters with computer generated ghosts and goblins, the father played by Sean Bean, searches the town with another cop.
Here lies the heart of the problem with the movie. You watch the father go through a peaceful, unoccupied Silent Hill--no ghosts, no goblins, no creepy townspeople. Meanwhile, the two women are being terrorized in the same exact city. What's happening? Are they in two separate universes? Is the mother dreaming this? Or is the father just dreaming all of this? I gave the movie the benefit of the doubt and hoped it would explain everything at the end (M. Night/The Sixth Sense style). Unfortunately, it never explained anything. Rather, the ending just made everything more confusing. The ending might as well be the director, Christophe Gans, walking up to you, dropping his trousers, and relieving himself on your face. Yes, it was that horrible.
Between all this back and forth with separate realities were moments of horror, if you can call it that. Apparently, the director and producers of this POS movie defined horror as unnecessary gruesome deaths caused by CGI ghouls. I really didn't care about all this blood and guts action because there was no point to it. I just sat there thinking, "These ghosts, why must they fight?" The women are constantly caught in a dead end with these ghouls. Just when you think they're doomed, the screen will turn black and everything is back to normal. Despite all that terror they experienced, the women continue to act like nothing happened and will go on exploring more haunted buildings. This happened at least 3 times. By the third bluff, I just gave up and mentally withdrew from the movie. It was unbelievable.
After the movie, KC and Sean said you had to play the video game of the same title in order to understand the movie. But it shouldn't be like that. I paid $8.50 to be entertained by what's in front of me. I shouldn't have to go through some prerequisite in order to get my money's worth. If this movie was good, it should have compelled me to play the game. Instead, it made me think if this is what the game is like, then it's the worst game (and the worst plot for a game) ever.
Silent Hill was the worst movie I have ever seen. I don't watch that many movies every year. Like everyone else, I've seen my share of bad movies, such as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Double Team, and Bring It On. But this one takes the cake. Never have I seen such an elaborate failure in storytelling in my life. Not for a single moment did I care about the characters in this movie.
The majority of the movie involves a wild goose chase, when Rose Da Silva (Radha Mitchell) loses her mentally unstable daughter, Sharon (Jodelle Ferland), in the West Virginia ghosttown of Silent Hill. Rose is assisted by an attractive police officer, Cybil Bennet (Laurie Holden). While Rose and the cop go through a myriad of "frightening" encounters with computer generated ghosts and goblins, the father played by Sean Bean, searches the town with another cop.
Here lies the heart of the problem with the movie. You watch the father go through a peaceful, unoccupied Silent Hill--no ghosts, no goblins, no creepy townspeople. Meanwhile, the two women are being terrorized in the same exact city. What's happening? Are they in two separate universes? Is the mother dreaming this? Or is the father just dreaming all of this? I gave the movie the benefit of the doubt and hoped it would explain everything at the end (M. Night/The Sixth Sense style). Unfortunately, it never explained anything. Rather, the ending just made everything more confusing. The ending might as well be the director, Christophe Gans, walking up to you, dropping his trousers, and relieving himself on your face. Yes, it was that horrible.
Between all this back and forth with separate realities were moments of horror, if you can call it that. Apparently, the director and producers of this POS movie defined horror as unnecessary gruesome deaths caused by CGI ghouls. I really didn't care about all this blood and guts action because there was no point to it. I just sat there thinking, "These ghosts, why must they fight?" The women are constantly caught in a dead end with these ghouls. Just when you think they're doomed, the screen will turn black and everything is back to normal. Despite all that terror they experienced, the women continue to act like nothing happened and will go on exploring more haunted buildings. This happened at least 3 times. By the third bluff, I just gave up and mentally withdrew from the movie. It was unbelievable.
After the movie, KC and Sean said you had to play the video game of the same title in order to understand the movie. But it shouldn't be like that. I paid $8.50 to be entertained by what's in front of me. I shouldn't have to go through some prerequisite in order to get my money's worth. If this movie was good, it should have compelled me to play the game. Instead, it made me think if this is what the game is like, then it's the worst game (and the worst plot for a game) ever.
6 Comments:
That is hilarious.
By
Ron, at 4/25/2006 2:15 AM
Hm, the IMDB reviews for the movie are generally good, and having played through most of Silent Hill 1, the game was very well done (I didn't really think so at the time, but later on thinking back it was definitely a genre-definer for the "early Playstation 1" period).
The premise (problem?) with most games is that you're usually playing the game and there is a different aura than reading a book or watching a movie. With games you often need to beat the game to find out the whole point of everything, and the game usually starts off without you knowing what's really going on.
Like with World of Warcraft, you're basically never ever (ever, ever, ever) given to a reason as to why you're playing your character. In fact, the game does not even offer many major plot-lines until you hit lvl 60. You had to have played through Warcraft 1, 2, and 3 (especially 3) to come around and visit all the heroes and kings you played with in the earlier games.
I think this point is even more shodden in scary games/movies. Eddie Murphy said it best when he questioned Poltergeist, asking "why did the white people stay in the fucking house? if I were the guy i would've ran straight out. If my daughter got sucked into the TV, I would've ran away and told the priest -- my daughter's in the TV, i'm not going back". Part of the whole given thing in scary movies is that the characters do not simply lie down, or call the police, or do the most logical thing.
Anyways, I still haven't seen the movie yet and I still want to =). Silent Hill 1 had brilliant gameplay and some of the most memorable locales. Reading the reviews on IMDB about what's in the movie (and what isn't... like the amusement park... damnit) just brought back many memories of the game~
By
Tony, at 4/25/2006 5:00 AM
Yeah, I checked IMDB out before I wrote this review. IMDB discussion boards are NOTORIOUSLY filled with fanboys and trolls who just want to mess with the fanboys. So it's just a clusterf*ck of "GREATEST VIDEO GAME MOVIE EVER!" and "YOU MORONS IT WAS HORRIBLE!"
I haven't played Silent Hill, but I've played FEAR, which seemed plagirizingly similar. Yeah, it was fun and scary...when you're in the game...interacting with the characters...figuring out how to finish.
Roger Ebert had a good explanation about the differences between playing a game and watching the movie. With games, your brain is active as you're trying to figure out gameplay and puzzles. The Silent Hill movie never did that. You're just sitting there. Your brain wants to figure it out, but the movie just dumps piles and piles of sh*t on you until you suffocate.
The movie failed from the very first second. I really wanted to care about the mother, daughter, and father. But I never did. I never got scared for them. I never rooted them on. I just gave up thinking about it.
By
David, at 4/25/2006 11:51 AM
I have one question: did the game explain everything by the end (whenever the end is)? Or did the game just said "F*ck you. We're not explaining anything even though you spent $50 on this game."
By
David, at 4/25/2006 11:59 AM
FEAR wasn't that scary. It was for the first...45-60 minutes? Then you realize the ghosts never, ever harm you (except for the end, but they're so weak, who cares), and then it becomes, "Meh," and you run and gun. Horror games are supposed to exploit your impotence, not your immortality.
Doom 3 was far scarier. Yeah, it had no story, but descending into Hell alone in the dark was pretty creepy.
By
Ron, at 4/25/2006 4:02 PM
haha...West Virginia = Hell
By
David, at 4/27/2006 2:33 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home